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Husbands Love Your Wives

Husbands, please love your wives!

Marriages are falling apart! And much of the reason and responsibility is on the husband. Husbands are not loving their wives. It is the husband’s role to set the tone for the marriage relationship.

Men are called to lead their families and a big part of that is loving their wives. In Ephesians 5:25-33, the apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the Church.

If you read these verses, the focus is on you, the husband, not what the verses say about the wife’s role. Husbands are called to love their wives not IF they carry out their role, but because we are commanded to no matter what the wife does.

I understand that is a difficult concept to grasp, especially given our selfish mindset.

Early in my marriage I did a poor job of loving my wife. (See my previous post “Our Story.”) I was selfish and not committed, and I was certainly not loving my wife. I was leading, but it was down a road of destruction.

Through a series of events I came to understand I was not loving my wife the way Christ loves the Church. It was time to act like a man and love my wife. She wasn’t perfect – she will tell you that – but that was not what I was to be focusing on. I needed to focus on what I am called to do as a husband; I am responsible for my actions.


You can love your wife by:

Serving her

In John 13:13 & 14 Jesus, although He was their Teacher and Lord (leader), He served them by washing their feet.

Humbling yourself

To be able to wash the disciples feet as their Teacher and Lord, He had to humble himself. We see in Philippians 2:3-8 Christ humbled Himself by not holding on to being God.

Protecting her

In Matthew 8:23-27 when the disciples were in their boat and a storm came up, He calmed the storm. He stepped into the chaos and took control of the situation, rather than adding to the chaos.

Developing a relationship with her

Jesus was all about relationships. His whole purpose in coming to earth in the form of a man was to have relationship with us, to demonstrate to us how to be in unity with one another as he and His Father were.

Being willing to die for her

Most husbands will not be in a situation that will require dying for their wives. However, are you willing to die for her should the situation present itself? This is the ultimate act of selflessness. Are you even open to considering the possibility? Christ did, and for 30 years He knew He would eventually do exactly that. Even though He was rejected, spit on, whipped, and mocked, He died for us that we may have a relationship with God.


I know it sounds corny, but wives want a knight in shining armor. They want someone willing to lead. I frequently hear women say they want a man that is: confident, a decision maker, communicative, mature, responsible, a planner, sensitive, willing to share emotions and be vulnerable. However, be aware: if you are not leading in the right direction, your wife will step in and lead.

Please practice the points listed above. Give it time if these are things you haven’t been doing because your wife may wonder what you did with her husband! She will need time to develop trust in this new you. I challenge you to do this for 30 days – not a half-hearted try, a true, all in, change from your heart try.

Can you love your wife like this without expecting the same in return? I challenge you to step out courageously and try it! Let me know how your marriage changes.