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In general, we as men are poor at dealing with the chaos around us. We avoid it at all cost; it even, in some cases, paralyzes us. Or, better stated, we allow it to paralyze us. We do well at making order out of chaos in our jobs, but when it comes to relationships, we avoid it.

We flee to wherever it is we run when life gets tough: the bar, work, porn, another woman, etc., only to create more chaos in our life and the life of those around us.


I created my share of chaos: when I was young, lying to my dad on many occasions, being a vandal, as a student flunking out of college, and as a husband committing adultery, just to name a few. I have come to understand what God has called us as men to be, leaders in this world, men who will step into the chaos of this world, the chaos of relationships and create order.

In the same way, He created order out of the chaos that existed when He created the world. We are, by the way, created in God’s image, Genesis 1:26. I have learned that I need to step into chaos, even when I don’t know what the final outcome will be or what all of the steps will be. By taking the first step, we show faith in God to give us the next step.

The Holy Spirit will guide us if we trust Him. For example: when Enne, my wife, and I have an argument, I need to move toward her and hold her to reassure her I’m not going to leave.


Wouldn’t most people agree that relationships are difficult? I submit that if men spoke or acted to prevent conflict, marriages would not be crumbling around us, children would not be estranged from their parents and violence in our society would significantly decrease.

What if men began in the home with their wives and children? Then what if they apply the same principles at work? How would relationships change? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Let’s change our ways in order to change our world.


How do we make order out of disorder? We act, we stand up and step in. We exercise our creative genius. God has not put us here, called us to lead and left us to drift. He has given us brains to think and reason with. If we are created in their image, we have a creativity.

For Pete’s sake, if they created this world we live in out of a formless void, Genesis 1:1 & 1:2, we can certainly create order out of chaos within our relationships. Be strong and courageous and join me in Stepping Into Chaos.


Let me know how I can encourage you: share with me a situation you are facing right now where you need to create order and not chaos.